Whether you have a specific person in mind — a partner, an ex — or just a nagging feeling your phone isn’t private any more, worrying that someone is tracking, tapping or monitoring it is one of the most common situations people bring to us. You’re not overreacting, and you’re not alone. Before any technical steps, a word on doing this safely — because when someone is controlling, the act of checking can matter as much as what you find.
Signs it might really be happening
Forget the checklists of ‘battery draining’ or ‘phone running hot’ — those have a dozen innocent causes and prove nothing either way. Monitoring by someone you know shows up far more reliably in what they know and do. The more of these feel familiar, the more your instinct is worth trusting:
They know things they shouldn't
Details from private messages, calls or plans you never shared with them.
They always know where you've been
They turn up, or mention places you went, without being told.
They've had your passcode
They know, or could have watched you enter, the code that unlocks your phone.
They set up or pay for your phone
They configured it, gave it to you, or control the account or plan behind it.
A sudden, insistent gift
A new phone, charger or accessory like an AirTag they were keen for you to keep or carry.
They react badly to privacy
They bristle at a passcode change, or pressure you to share passwords and your location.
If several of these ring true, treat the concern as real and keep going — carefully. The checks further down will turn that instinct into something you can actually see.
Your safety comes first
If you're in immediate danger
Contact your local emergency number, or a domestic and family violence support service in your country. They can help you plan around technology safely — this guide is not a substitute for that support.
Understand this before you change anything: removing monitoring can both escalate the situation and destroy evidence. Someone who suddenly loses their view of you may react — and deleting an app, unpairing a device or resetting the phone wipes the proof you’d need for a protection order or family-court case. If there’s any risk to your safety, or you might take legal action, plan the timing and line up support before you switch anything off, rather than acting in the heat of the moment.
Research on a device they can't see
If your phone may be watched, don’t use it to read about this or reach out for help. Use a device they have no access to — a trusted friend’s phone, a work or library computer — so your searches and messages stay private.
How they usually do it
Monitoring by someone you know usually comes down to a handful of methods — and you’ll be able to rule each one out in turn:
A hidden app (stalkerware). Software installed on the phone that quietly forwards your messages, calls and location. It needs physical access to set up — and it’s exactly what a spyware scan is built to find.
Built-in features turned against you. No app required: a shared Apple or Google account, message forwarding, or location sharing simply left switched on. A scan won’t see these — you find them in your settings.
Network monitoring. No access to your phone at all — just control of the home Wi-Fi or router you connect to. From there someone can see which sites and services you use.
A physical tracker. An AirTag or similar tag tucked into a bag, car or coat, reporting where you go. Your phone can usually help you detect one that isn’t yours.
A tampered accessory. A charging cable, charger or dock modified to carry an implant — like an O.MG cable — can pull data or log activity. It’s rarer, and harder on a phone than a laptop, but a gifted or swapped accessory is the usual way one reaches you.
Check the phone for spyware or malicious settings
Start on the device itself: scan for a hidden monitoring app, then check the settings it can’t hide in. Pick your phone:
Then rule out the other methods
A clean phone doesn’t always mean no one is watching — some methods leave nothing on the device at all. Follow up the ones that fit your situation:
If you find something, preserve it
In a family court matter or a protection-order application, what’s on the phone can be evidence — but only if it’s preserved properly. Don’t delete the app or reset the device first; that destroys it and warns the other person. Screenshot what you can and get a professional to capture it the right way.
Get a forensic examinationWhen you're ready to take it back
Once you’ve checked safely and preserved anything you need, the next step is closing every door at once — your accounts, your number and your network — so no one can quietly find their way back in.
Stop your phone being monitoredCommon questions
Is it legal for a partner to monitor my phone?
In most places, secretly tracking or reading another adult's phone without consent is unlawful — and it's a recognised form of coercive control. Laws differ by country, so for your specific situation get advice from a local support service or lawyer.
How do I know it's real and not just anxiety?
You often can't tell from feelings alone — anxiety and real monitoring feel the same from the inside. That's the whole point of checking: a scan and a settings review give you facts instead of fear. If several of the signs above also fit, treat the concern as real until the checks tell you otherwise.
Will they know if I check?
Simply looking through your settings or running a scan doesn't normally alert anyone. It's removing what you find — unpairing a device, deleting an app, turning off sharing — that can be noticed, because their access stops. That's why we suggest checking first and planning the removal.
Can what I find be used as evidence in court?
It can — abused settings, a paired device, a tracking app or location logs can all support a family-court case or protection order. But evidence has to be preserved properly: screenshots help, yet deleting an app or resetting the phone destroys the underlying proof and tips the other person off. If it may go legal, have it captured by a forensic professional before you change anything.
We share a family account — how do I separate safely?
Shared accounts and family plans are a common way visibility lingers after a relationship. Untangling them can be sensitive if the other person controls the plan, so do it as part of a wider plan to secure your accounts — ideally with support if there's any risk.
What about an AirTag or tracker following me?
Both iPhone and modern Android phones warn you about an unknown tracker moving with you over time, and can make it play a sound to help you find it. If you locate a tracker you didn't place and you feel unsafe, preserve it and involve the police rather than confronting anyone.
Can someone really tap or monitor my phone?
Yes, though how varies. Everyday 'tapping' is usually a stalkerware app or someone abusing your shared accounts and location settings — both very real and very checkable. True carrier-level wiretapping is rare and generally limited to law enforcement, so for most people the realistic risks are the app and the account, which you can investigate yourself.
Do codes like *#21# or ##002# reveal spyware?
No. Those dialler codes only show or cancel carrier call-forwarding — one narrow thing worth checking, but they say nothing about a monitoring app or a shared account. Don't treat a 'clean' code result as proof your phone isn't being watched.
Will a factory reset stop it?
A reset clears almost any app-based spyware, but it won't stop monitoring that runs through your accounts, a linked device or a physical tracker — and it wipes any evidence. Check and secure your accounts first; reset as part of the plan, not instead of it.
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JD
Written by
Jordan DicksonFounder, CyberSecurityGuides
Founder of CyberSecurityGuides, writing practical, jargon-free guides that help everyday people recover from and protect against online attacks.
Reviewed by CSG Security Engineers