How to Tell If Partner Monitoring Is Real When You're Not Sure
Are you worried your partner might be monitoring your phone or computer? It's a frightening thought, and it's important to trust your gut feelings. This guide will help you understand common signs of unwanted monitoring and what steps you can take, always prioritising your safety.
Your physical safety is the most important thing. If you suspect you are being monitored and feel unsafe, do not touch the device in question until you have a safety plan and support in place. Reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or domestic violence hotline is a great first step.
Trust Your Instincts
It’s common to dismiss uneasy feelings, but your instincts are powerful. If something feels ‘off’ in your relationship or with your devices, it’s worth paying attention to. You know your situation best.
Unusual Device Behaviour
Monitoring software, sometimes called 'stalkerware', can make your phone or computer act strangely. These apps can run in the background, using up resources and battery life. Keep an eye out for changes you don't recognise.
- Your device battery drains much faster than usual.
- Your device feels warm even when you haven't been using it much.
- Your device is much slower than it used to be.
- You notice new apps you don't remember installing.
- Your data usage has suddenly increased without explanation.
Strange Messages or Alerts
Sometimes, monitoring software can send odd messages or show unusual notifications. These might be attempts by the software to update itself, or they could be mistakes made by the person doing the monitoring. If you see anything like this, it's a red flag.
- You receive text messages with strange codes or symbols.
- You get unusual pop-up messages or alerts.
- Someone mentions something you only typed or said near your device when you thought you were alone.
Changes to Your Accounts and Settings
Monitoring might also involve someone gaining access to your online accounts. Check your account settings regularly for any changes you didn't make. Also, be aware if your partner is always asking for your passwords or demanding access to your devices.
- You find your passwords have been changed without your knowledge.
- New email addresses or phone numbers have been added to your recovery options on accounts like Google or Apple.
- Your social media privacy settings are different.
- Location services are turned on when you've turned them off before (Settings > Privacy > Location Services on iPhone; Settings > Location on Android).
Listen to Your Gut
Ultimately, if you feel like something isn't right, that feeling is valid. It's not about being paranoid; it's about being safe. If you have concerns, reaching out for support is a brave and important step.
Key takeaway
Recognising the signs of potential monitoring is the first step towards regaining control and ensuring your safety. Always prioritise your well-being and seek support from trusted sources if you feel you are in danger. You don't have to navigate this alone.